A bit about me: Rosie. Asexual. 18. British. Bookworm. Aspiring writer. College student...welcome to my writing/journal blog! This is the place where I express myself through writing. You will also find posts that relate to writing, and quotes that I find inspiring. Feel free to ask me anything!
Every day I see what most don’t ;An empty space. It is not the space that matters, but what should fill it. There’s a man that I used to see on my journey to work.
The man was thin and broken. His eyes always found a way of connecting with my own, and somehow I could tell that he was silently wishing for help, hoping that either myself or anyone out there would reach out to him and help him.
Beside him lay a trembling and mange infested mutt. Both man and dog had been rejected by society. They needed each other, and they fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle.
One day the man disappeared and so did the mutt. It was like neither had existed. People still walk by that spot and they don’t think much about it. I mean, why would you? It’s just an empty space.
But it’s so much more than that. It’s a story, two lives, a tragedy.
I have come to the conclusion that we will all one day leave an empty space in this world, a blank mark, and our stories will never be told.
It’ll be like we never even existed. The only way we will live on is through the memories of others, and even those memories will eventually fade into nothingness.
Unfortunately the plan fell through. It was a great dream but in order for it to reach its full potential my parents would have needed more funds. It’s still a dream, but we just won’t be able to forfill it, not for a while anyway.
A/N: I know you like Johnlock…so here you go. Have some feels, Amanda. Enjoy.
At first you don’t understand what the word means. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you’re not quite sure what to make of it. When he walks into your life, it is what you found yourself longing for. You’ve not had much luck in life before, not when it comes to relationships with other human beings, so you’re surprised when he decides to stick around, even more so when he actually starts to praise you.
For years now, you’ve been an outsider, but when you are with him you feel like you belong somewhere. Your hands twitch to entwine with his, but something always stops you. You haven’t felt this elated since your brother bought you a puppy all those years ago. But then, as you stare down from the rooftop, the world surging beneath you, you realise that you are willing to sacrifice yourself over the word that you still don’t completely understand. You realise that just like the puppy your brother once gave you, the man that has changed your life is going to die too. Not today though. You won’t let that happen. Not now, not if you can help it.
Your breath comes out in sharp spurts, and you feel a deep fear gripping you tightly. You aren’t even able to say a proper goodbye to him, and that is killing you inside. As you fall to the ground, the air rushing past you, angry at your cowardly decision, you watch as the word that you had grown fond of shattered into a million pieces.
It is the feeling of joy whenever you are around one of your oldest and most trusted friends. It is the smile that you can’t stop from breaking forth when they laugh. When you feel their touch, it is the warmth that spreads through your whole body. It is the knowledge that no matter what happens in the future there will always be a small flame of elation flickering inside of your heart. When you slip your hand into theirs, it is the colour that swirls in your eyes. When your friend tells you that everything will be OK, it is the colour that pushes away all doubt and worry in your mind. You run side by side with your friend. When you glance at them, it is the colour that radiates off of them in gigantic, frolicking waves.
When you hear your friend mention the C word, it is the colour that instantly clouds your vision. When you think about all the times that you and your friend shared a quick ciggy with each other, it is the colour that fills you with self hatred. As you hold your friend’s hand tight, it is the colour that pours over your every thought, making them dark and muddled. It is the knowledge that things will never be the same again. It is the sudden pressure bearing down on you, like a heavy stormcloud pressing against every inch of your skin. It is the colour your vision goes as you watch your friend losing the battle. It is the ugly bitterness building up inside of you. It is the feeling of despair as your friend barely recognises you anymore. When the doctor tells you to prepare for the worst, it is the agonising scream building up inside of you.
When your best friend dies in your arms, it is the colour your heart becomes. It is the colour that accompanies you whenever you feel that familiar sadness gripping you tight. As you cast your mind to the past, wishing that you could turn back time, it is the colour of the tears cascading down your cheeks. As you stare at the engraved grave stone, it is the colour of your world shattering around you like fractals of ice. When you see the place where you used to play as children, it is the colour of cold nostalgia crawling beneath your skin. It is the colour that sits inside the pit of your stomach, like a poison that is slowly consuming you. It is the feeling of loneliness and abandonment that you feel constantly.
It is the colour that shrouds you from reality. Whenever you look in the mirror, it is the colour of your eyes. Every time someone tries to reach out to you, it is the colour that makes you push them away as far as possible. The colour fills every part of you. You can’t quite remember what it’s like to feel anything other than the great darkness you are plagued with. When you toss and turn in bed at night, it is the colour of the nightmares penetrating your mind. It is the colour that strangles you, suffocates you, tries to put you underground.This colour has no mercy, and you know that it will never truly leave you, no matter how hard you try to rid yourself of it. One night, you could have sworn you heard your friend speaking to you. It is the colour of you slowly losing every shred of sanity that you once had.
Ideas are wings
Life is a rollercoaster that everyone has to go through
They are my East and West